Wolf Turn Tutorial : 5 Easy Steps!
Learn how to perform everyone’s new favorite skill with alacrity and ease! Simply follow the five steps outlined below!
Step 1: The Set up. Squat down like you’re taking dump and then extend one leg out to the side. If performing skill on balance beam, place extended leg on top of beam. Think of a dog peeing on a fire hydrant but imagine that dog has a cast on his leg that keeps his leg straight. Take the sadness elicited from imaging an injured animal and use it to complete the skill. This is a sad skill.
Step 2: Place arms in third position and rotate upper body and arms in direction you will soon turn. DO NOT TURN! Simply continue to rotate your top half in preparation for what is sure to be the low point of your routine.
Step 3: Once you have completed an unnecessary amount of fake out arm rotations, whip extended leg around at high velocity. This may cause your hips to rise until you’re basically standing up, but whatever, it’s cool. Do not concern yourself with straightening the extended leg or pointing your toes. Focus entirely on remaining somewhat upright and, if applicable, on the beam.
Step 4: Forget you have arms. Flail them around for the duration of the skill. Pretend you are doing a very fast, very poor rendition of the YMCA arm movements.
Step 5: Prevent yourself from falling off by catching extended leg on beam. This may be in the opposite direction you started or it may be the same. It does not matter! The skill will look hideous regardless of number of rotations! If performing this monstrosity on floor, include some sort of log roll style choreography to fool judges and fans into thinking that whatever hunched position in which you finished this skill was intentional!
There you have it! Five easy steps to do a heinous skill that ought to be deleted from the code and wiped from our collective memories.